Dating

I ran into Pia last night after a screening of Control Room. (The movie is a very good documentary on the wr in Iraq from an Arab media perspective, focusing on Al-Jazeera's coverage. The characters are complex and conflicted, and are given the time to develop their thoughts onscreen. Highly recommended.) She was with a Swiss friend of hers who had just arrived in New York on vacation. None of us had eaten, and Pia suggested an Italian restaurant on 7th, conveniently situated near her apartment.

At the restaurant, the waiter greeted her by name. She said that he had an amazing memory not only for faces but also for names. Even friends she had brought there only once had been greeted by name when they came back alone or with other friends. She said that everything on the menu was good, and the wines were spectacular. I had an asparagus risotto; Pia ordered the wine. She was right on both accounts.

Her friend intimated that Pia was working on a story about dating, and once we had finished discussing the film, the election, and the issue of immigration and integration, comparing the U.S. to Europe, we fell on the topic of her story.

She told us that had interviewed a Swiss friend of hers who had dated a number of American girls. Among other things he said they were better in bed, but that when all was said and done he'd rather marry a Swiss girl. He said that dating in the States was too codified. There seemed to be an unspoken series of steps and rules that everyone followed, from dating to living together to marriage. Pia said that in Europe, moving in together was a much more casual affair, whereby in America it seemed that it was the last step before the committment of marriage.

Pia's friend mentioned that the friend she was staying with had just let his girlfriend move in. She had noticed that a woman had begun living in the apartment; it was more presentable than on her last visit. But her friend was having difficulty adjusting; they had been up late the night before discussing his situation.

Recently, my brother moved in with his girlfriend. My mother was the one to tell me and she asked me what I thought. I told her I had no thoughts. I may have wondered in passing whether they were taking a step towards marriage, but on the other hand it seemed an economical choice. I didn't really start thinking of the M-word until I heard that they were planning on visiting her parents in Iowa. And then that they're planning on coming out east for a weekend as well. Posted by eku at July 1, 2004 5:15 PM